I was just lying on my bed, thinking about how the people I love the most hurt me so much,how they complain so much,how they think me dumb so much,how bad I want it to stop,how much I wish they knew,I much so much has gone wrong it can NEVER be perfectly right,and how much longer I had to carry the cross………………..
I was thinking about this,then I saw a picture of a dead body,lying underneath a trailer,blood surrounding it,bottles of water(which I guessed he was hawking)and money in his hand……………..
I was thinking about how I’m not appreciated by people I love and how so bad I want them to appreciate me on my huge bed,with the AC on,my clothe sketches scattered on my bed,friends I could call to hangout with at anytime,a very big and bright plan for the future looking very possible,and some change in the bank/debtors pocket……….when someone just died!…..lying on the floor,under a big trailer! 0_0 ………. Gosh! I am the most self centered,unappreciat”ive”,ungrateful person I know!
People die every single minute,and I’m still alive,worrying about unnecessary things..
“It is You who has LIFE that worry”….. Dead people don’t have worries……..what have they got to worry about? They’re DEAD!
“Let all things that have LIFE praise the LORD”………..forgive me Lord,but I don’t see the praising this DEAD guy can do right now! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!
Gosh I’m selfish!………….
Though I know,to whom it may concern,I just don’t care,not about “to whom it may concern” not about myself either…….and to whom it may concern,”to whom it may concern” is helping me past my troubles,worries,spiritual battles by advising me when “to whom it may concern” thinks I’ve done something wrong or isn’t doing something right!
But go figure………I don’t have all these problems! The ONLY PROBLEM is “to whom it may concern” all up in my business making me feel I’m NOT good enough! Making me want to prove what can’t be proven,making me want to “build that little girls castle” that was crushed long ago!
I AM NOT SORRY “to whom it may concern” call me all sorts as its what you’re good at,but this girl right here,is spending this time I’ve got loving myself by staying happy and DOING WHAT I BELIEVE is right and THANKING GOD FOR EVERY BIT OF MY JOURNEY!
I LOVE YOU “to whom it may concern” but 0_0………….
Sigh* This felt great to write!………be grateful for your life people!
KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE ,Because, YOU MIGHT LOSE IT ——— LionessAllison