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False Advertising Or Plain Survival ?

Published September 20, 2016 by lionessallison

After a fulfilling day of book reading, scientific researching and journal writing, my brain decided to settle to a night with more relaxing thoughts.

But of course you know me , relaxing for me isn’t relaxing for an average woman,It Involves   multiple thoughts , wild imaginations and most likely pornhub.com ….. Don’t look at me with that eye bitch , you do it too , the only difference is I do it for a different purpose. ( don’t expect details )

The first video I clicked was British porn , which was quite interesting because , that was my first time watching British porn and , the dude had unbelievably big penis , the lady however looked 20years older , had too much makeup, excessive fake blonde extensions , fake boobies and thinks her overly fucked disfigured vagina tastes like candy ( which has to be the worst word anyone wants to hear in British accent by the way ) .

Surprisingly it was overall one of the best pornhub videos I’ve ever seen ! Yes believe it , British porn !!! Which led me into wondering about popular stereotypes known to British men and women , which led me to google.

So I googled, and found two interesting posts ; one by an American woman that lives in London and a British man who lives in the US , both sharing their thoughts and experiences with their counterparts.

Not long ago I and some close friends met a Nigerian/ British guy who had just relocated to Lagos , he explained to us how some of his Nigerian friends advised him on approaching a Nigerian woman , I’m gonna quote him ” you see a girl you like in a club , walk up to her , grab her by the hand and invite her for champagne at your table “ . Without saying a word , the look my friends and I shared simply translates ” have you ever met a more dumb ass nigga ? “  , he further states ” talking up a British girl is a lot more difficult, cause even if she’s gonna go home with you , she expects you to persuade her ” 

Now I don’t even want to go into details of what we discussed after he left , all I can say is , he would be very heartbroken and never want our paths to cross again.

This is my dilemma,  below are munchies from the articles I spoke about earlier, one thing is unanimous from the writers and this misinformed ( I just got back) Nigerian/ British man , the 3 of them agree that British men do talk their girls up for as long as she needed to give up her maybe good or at least I came vagina , and they ( British women)  do not like men who are straight forward either politely or otherwise. Now I haven’t the slightest clue if this is true or not , but I do know nobody likes a man who is too forward , especially when they’re not feeling your swag just yet.
Now before you go ahead and read the munchies, here’s my question, the American writer called the long , cute and flirty chat up  of British men ” false advertising ” because according to her everything else after that is just disappointing. The British writer also illustrated the same gesture in his article but to in a way make American men seem disrespectful towards women, while also stating that British women are reserved. So in his defense I’ve decided to call the legendary chat up survival , cause I mean mans gatto get laid , and according to all 3 I’ve concluded that the reserved ( according to British writer ) but at the same time openminded carefree British woman  ( yeah quite confused aren’t they ) is pretentious , so you gatto give it to British mans for mastering the trade , which can happen anywhere in the world . However the British writer made such an importance of the chat up so much that he called it “ top notch etiquette ” , like dude what the fuck am I supposed to do with yo etiquette? Hang it up my wall ?

So , *are British men false advertising? Because put in mind that pornstars penis was really big , but then again that’s just one guy.

* are they simply just surviving ?

* are British women pretending not to want the D but just wants you to think they’re goodie to shoes just Incase their vagina game is strong and you decide to stay forever?

* British men are ranked the second worst lovers in the world , breed the highest number of cheaters in Europe and general suck in coitus ,  how true is this fact ?

If it is, British women have my apologies for calling them pretentious, because then again they’re probably just making sure they get the smaller percentage that aren’t that bad cause I don’t imagine enduring 21 long minutes in bed or the kitchen counter with a willi that can’t will inside me .

* is it true that British men last longer in bed than others ? With the exception of Brazilians ?

* how best can a man approach a Nigerian woman ? ( I dey hail una by the way )

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A poem

Published September 29, 2015 by lionessallison

  
Let me write one on love I thought I know nothing of love , though I court 

Wondering what to think of me ? Don’t waste your thoughts 

Don’t know what to make of myself , especially when I’m in love
I lose myself to it, all that I am 

My hands are socked in broken glass laced with snow

I can smell the blood , it fucking hurts my soul

I know I’m slow
I think I’m learning, but it feels the same 

Every page I turn , no matter what angle I turn it , is the same 

It has a fame 

Someday I hope it’s tamed 
Yet again I couldn’t explain it

It’s like fire burning from my heart out to the surface of my skin

I want to scream 

But when I hold it in , it’s all too sweet 
…. I could go on , but I’m sure you get it

…. My idea of love is fucked up , I’m just Kidding 

I’ve missed it

Published June 6, 2014 by lionessallison

I can’t tell how much I’ve missed it,  talking about my favorite things,  sharing with you guys,  I have missed it

I will,  this time talk about a lot of different things compared to the usual , and I promise to not forget about you guys too soon xx

– Lioness

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