Fashion

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False Advertising Or Plain Survival ?

Published September 20, 2016 by lionessallison

After a fulfilling day of book reading, scientific researching and journal writing, my brain decided to settle to a night with more relaxing thoughts.

But of course you know me , relaxing for me isn’t relaxing for an average woman,It Involves   multiple thoughts , wild imaginations and most likely pornhub.com ….. Don’t look at me with that eye bitch , you do it too , the only difference is I do it for a different purpose. ( don’t expect details )

The first video I clicked was British porn , which was quite interesting because , that was my first time watching British porn and , the dude had unbelievably big penis , the lady however looked 20years older , had too much makeup, excessive fake blonde extensions , fake boobies and thinks her overly fucked disfigured vagina tastes like candy ( which has to be the worst word anyone wants to hear in British accent by the way ) .

Surprisingly it was overall one of the best pornhub videos I’ve ever seen ! Yes believe it , British porn !!! Which led me into wondering about popular stereotypes known to British men and women , which led me to google.

So I googled, and found two interesting posts ; one by an American woman that lives in London and a British man who lives in the US , both sharing their thoughts and experiences with their counterparts.

Not long ago I and some close friends met a Nigerian/ British guy who had just relocated to Lagos , he explained to us how some of his Nigerian friends advised him on approaching a Nigerian woman , I’m gonna quote him ” you see a girl you like in a club , walk up to her , grab her by the hand and invite her for champagne at your table “ . Without saying a word , the look my friends and I shared simply translates ” have you ever met a more dumb ass nigga ? “  , he further states ” talking up a British girl is a lot more difficult, cause even if she’s gonna go home with you , she expects you to persuade her ” 

Now I don’t even want to go into details of what we discussed after he left , all I can say is , he would be very heartbroken and never want our paths to cross again.

This is my dilemma,  below are munchies from the articles I spoke about earlier, one thing is unanimous from the writers and this misinformed ( I just got back) Nigerian/ British man , the 3 of them agree that British men do talk their girls up for as long as she needed to give up her maybe good or at least I came vagina , and they ( British women)  do not like men who are straight forward either politely or otherwise. Now I haven’t the slightest clue if this is true or not , but I do know nobody likes a man who is too forward , especially when they’re not feeling your swag just yet.
Now before you go ahead and read the munchies, here’s my question, the American writer called the long , cute and flirty chat up  of British men ” false advertising ” because according to her everything else after that is just disappointing. The British writer also illustrated the same gesture in his article but to in a way make American men seem disrespectful towards women, while also stating that British women are reserved. So in his defense I’ve decided to call the legendary chat up survival , cause I mean mans gatto get laid , and according to all 3 I’ve concluded that the reserved ( according to British writer ) but at the same time openminded carefree British woman  ( yeah quite confused aren’t they ) is pretentious , so you gatto give it to British mans for mastering the trade , which can happen anywhere in the world . However the British writer made such an importance of the chat up so much that he called it “ top notch etiquette ” , like dude what the fuck am I supposed to do with yo etiquette? Hang it up my wall ?

So , *are British men false advertising? Because put in mind that pornstars penis was really big , but then again that’s just one guy.

* are they simply just surviving ?

* are British women pretending not to want the D but just wants you to think they’re goodie to shoes just Incase their vagina game is strong and you decide to stay forever?

* British men are ranked the second worst lovers in the world , breed the highest number of cheaters in Europe and general suck in coitus ,  how true is this fact ?

If it is, British women have my apologies for calling them pretentious, because then again they’re probably just making sure they get the smaller percentage that aren’t that bad cause I don’t imagine enduring 21 long minutes in bed or the kitchen counter with a willi that can’t will inside me .

* is it true that British men last longer in bed than others ? With the exception of Brazilians ?

* how best can a man approach a Nigerian woman ? ( I dey hail una by the way )

A poem

Published September 29, 2015 by lionessallison

  
Let me write one on love I thought I know nothing of love , though I court 

Wondering what to think of me ? Don’t waste your thoughts 

Don’t know what to make of myself , especially when I’m in love
I lose myself to it, all that I am 

My hands are socked in broken glass laced with snow

I can smell the blood , it fucking hurts my soul

I know I’m slow
I think I’m learning, but it feels the same 

Every page I turn , no matter what angle I turn it , is the same 

It has a fame 

Someday I hope it’s tamed 
Yet again I couldn’t explain it

It’s like fire burning from my heart out to the surface of my skin

I want to scream 

But when I hold it in , it’s all too sweet 
…. I could go on , but I’m sure you get it

…. My idea of love is fucked up , I’m just Kidding 

I’ve missed it

Published June 6, 2014 by lionessallison

I can’t tell how much I’ve missed it,  talking about my favorite things,  sharing with you guys,  I have missed it

I will,  this time talk about a lot of different things compared to the usual , and I promise to not forget about you guys too soon xx

– Lioness

For A Reason

Published October 13, 2013 by lionessallison

“Story Is Fictional”

I woke up one morning, forgot to say my prayer , saw broken toys by my sisters bed, picked them up and ran out for a photo shoot I had.

My Sister woke up said prayers for the family, made some breakfast and head to school.

My dad who had already left in search for work so early was robbed off his every penny, he had to walk home, which took him hours! He was very tired and very hungry, but luckily my sister had made breakfast which had leftovers.

Finishing my shoot, I rush to a bus stop to catch a bus because I had to rush home to help my sister enter for jamb which closes today, but then I missed my bus and had to wait, when I finally got a bus it was so late and I was so fucking pissed . But on my way I saw the exact BRT bus I missed in a terrible accident, and it occurred to me I didn’t pray before leaving the house! OMG!!! But God spared my life, my sister already prayed for me.

When I got home, I saw my sister and dad laughing with our neighbours kids who had brought their toys again to play, I asked her if she was mad at me I didn’t get home in time and explained myself, but fortunately my dad was home earlier than expected so he helped her and she didn’t had to wait a whole year for her exams.

I then realised my neighbours kids were here and then I ranted about them leaving broken toys on the floor of my room as my sister could’ve mistakenly stepped on them and injured her foot this morning which would’ve probably ruined her day.

For A Reason.

There’s a reason you bought cooking oil from that igbo woman in the market today, there were 10 other sellers, there’s a reason you took out the TV plug after everyone left the house, there’s a reason you bumped into someone and spilled your coffee on their very nice sparkling white shirt that would be too embarrassing for them to wear unless they go home to change, buy one or your help them somehow.

There’s a reason for everything, very few times, the reason is your own doing, and most times, its just how the universe works, whatever you do, affects a million others, if you wake up this morning, its not just because you’re healthy and well, but also so others could be affected by you.

If you won a lottery today, its not so you could just be rich, you might come across a charity project that needs your help.

If you had an unnecessary fight with a stranger, it was probably because the person had to get to where they were going late or else their journey would be pointless.

Its easier for us to live life like its just normal, but that’s what norm people do, just live. Our lives are connected, just look around you, its not so difficult to see.

Live your life, like you’re an angel, because that’s exactly what you are, angels don’t fall from heaven, angels are you and me.

—–LionessAllison

Some Words

Published June 25, 2013 by lionessallison

Its been such a long time and I missed everyone!

I’m sharing these words with you because I love you!

Please visit http://www.lionessAllison.com

http://www.lookrepublic.com

http://www.lookrepublicmag.tumblr.com

Be Blessed!

LionessAllison
President Riah Group

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